Trying to fight the pain!

tired of painI hope y’all had a good day today! Crazy thing, I woke up once again at 4 am in a lot of pain!Truthfully, I did not sleep very well at all because I was not able to get comfortable. Yesterday, I said that I was going to go to work today, but I decided that maybe I needed just one more day to get over this horrible pain. I simply stayed in comfortable clothes all day and tried my best to relax!

I did get an email today from someone I work with telling me some very disturbing things. I can not even begin to explain how insulted and offended I was by what I was told. Sometimes in life, people that we consider to be friends, are not as true as we think. I was under the false impression that people I worked with every day understood what I go through, but I could not have been more wrong. It is truly amazing to me what people will say about someone who is chronically ill, especially when that person is suffering terribly, when they are not around to defend themselves. I guess it is hard for others to understand what I really deal with daily, because I put on a fake front around those not close to me. I do my best when I am at work to hide the fact that I am in pain, because I do not want false sympathies and smiles. 

As I already said, I stayed home from work today because of my pain. There was no way I would be able to make it through an 8+ hour work day hurting as much as I am. cant fake itNormally, I am really good at putting on a fake smile and pretending that everything is fine, but lately I can not do that. I am very stressed about the MRI on Saturday and I am not able to get comfortable, at all. I am in pain most of the day and nothing at all is helping me. Y’all have heard my frustrations with this issue, so you understand how much I am struggling. For people who do not suffer with a chronic illness that can cause pain, they do not understand and there is no point in explaining to them. I have about a handful of people around me that truly understand how I feel. 

I am hopefully going to make it into work tomorrow. Thankfully, my manager is very understanding about what I am going through and has told me to not push myself too much. It might be really hard for me to get up the energy to go to work tomorrow, because as I already said, I am so upset by what people have been saying about me and my illness. I imageswill have to control my temper and attitude when I walk in, and bite my tongue when people try to talk to me. I can tell you, I am good at being silent and ignoring people for the most part, but it will take a lot of self-control not to sass back at these individuals! I can be a bit of a smart mouth sometimes, so tomorrow will be a day of ear buds and the music turned up loud! 

I hope you have a great evening! Wish me luck tomorrow, as I might really need all the luck I can get! I am just hoping I can relax my mind enough tonight and actually get a good nights sleep, and then feel well enough to get up and go to work tomorrow. I really appreciate all of your continued support and encouraging messages you have sent. I have had a wonderful experience communicating with many of you. I find it so interesting what other countries have for medical care and how people get through difficult times! Take care!

Love 2


Always, Alyssa


29 thoughts on “Trying to fight the pain!

  1. There are days when i have to remind myself the pain is my nerves lying to me. There are also days that i will then tell myself “shut up I know that – but it hurts”.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I relate with your pain and frustrations so much. It kills me when I feel that co-workers are thinking Im using my illness as a way to get out of work. Are you kidding me?! I fake being HEALTHY everyday! I’m just like you though, great at putting on a front when in public. Hugs to you, I hope you are able to make it to work tomorrow. I just started my short term disability leave so I understand not being able to make it through work.

    Liked by 2 people

    • It is so frustrating when people are mean and judgemental. They are just ignorant! If after my MRI they see this is a flare up they are going to do short term disability. But we will see!! I am going to try to get to work tomorrow!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I completely relate to you. It’s sooo frustrating to have to explain to other people who say horrible things to us because they don’t understand what we go through. I’m so sorry you have to go through that, but unfortunately unless it’s happening to those people, most will never get it. I hope you are able to rest, and that things at work get easier to manage! Good thoughts coming your way!🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! The numerous comments made by “friends” I work with caught me way off guard and really upset me, but I am not going to let their ignorance bother me anymore. I appreciate your kind comment! Take care!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I bet! I know when I had to stop working, I was surprised to lose a few people I thought were more than just work friends. Stick close to those you know are there for the good and bad. Thank you, you take care too!


      • Thank you so much for sharing this! I think I got myself too upset yesterday but the hateful behavior at my job or maybe I just would still be in pain anyways, but I ended up staying home again. I can not work with my back and legs hurting this much. I mean, it hurts to even walk or sit. It is crazy!

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s normal to be upset about something like that. No matter what anyone else thinks, you know yourself best and keep doing what you need to do to take care of yourself! I’m sorry you are in so much pain and hope you can get some relief soon ❤


      • Thank you so much! I really needed that positive and wonderful comment! I am trying to do what is best for me right now. I hope you are doing well and had a great day! Take care and enjoy your evening!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad it was helpful. I’m happy to talk with you about it any time. It’s nice to connect with people that understand, we can help support each other! I’m doing well. I just started a group for learning strategies to help manage chronic pain, so hoping I can pick up some useful information. ❤


      • I hope your group is helpful. I would really love to hear more about it and what you learn. I am sincerely happy we have been able to communicate. It is great to be able to chat with a Wise Woman!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I hope so too. I’ll share any info that I learn. There is a book that they are using but I can’t remember the name. I’ll get it next week and share with you. It’s mostly about new research around mindfulness techniques.


  4. I know what you mean. I am known to not have a filter at work and be a bit too curt with people. I find that most people in a job are way too busy worried about what other people are doing or NOT doing and not enough on their own business. It’s best to just ignore them which can be very hard when all you want to do is defend yourself but it just falls on deaf ears because they really don’t care, they are only concerned about themselves and always being the “victim”. Hope you have a peaceful day at work tomorrow! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • WOW, that is so sadly true! People are self centered and only care about talking about other peoples issues or they create the issues. Way too much drama for adults! I will do my best to control my attitude tomorrow and ignore them completely! I am honestly reporting the two people to HR, I think!


    • Thank you so much! I had a hard time standing up and not falling over with pain this morning, so I am so sorry I stayed home again. I am trying to get myself better, it is just taking forever. I do appreciate your very kind comments always!


  5. Haters gonna hate! Don’t let them get to you. Here’s a quote that you might be able to share with your coworkers as a way to make them think about what you’re going through without giving them too much sass hahaha.
    “”Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it isn’t so” – Lemony Snicket


  6. Pingback: Trying to fight the pain! — Fightmsdaily – FIGHT LUPUS KENYA

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