Happy Friday Eve Y’all! I don’t know about you, but I am so happy tomorrow is Friday! It seems that the weeks are getting longer, but maybe that is because I have been battling pain for so long. I feel like the moment I think it is getting better, the pain just comes back again just as bad, if not worse than before. It is mildly frustrating and a little discouraging.
Today, my pain was so bad I actually asked my husband, with tears in my eyes, if this was ever going to end. I am getting so beyond frustrated that I was starting to wonder, is this going to just be my life, living with constant pain. I know I have said before, but the only thing that helps my back pain is to lay down. I almost made it through the entire day at work, with my pain level above 10, but I ended up coming home from work an hour early. That of course made me feel weak, considering I have always said I won’t let this disease control my life. But, I also feel that sometimes our body is trying to tell us to rest. There is one medication my doctor wanted me to try for pain. She said that it helps with neuropathy pain, but the only thing it has been doing for me is making me extremely tired and not reliving any of my pain. She said that it takes a few weeks to start working, and taking it twice a day my body will get used to any side effects. Well, it has been over a month and it still makes me so tired, to the point I feel like I am falling asleep at my desk at work. At this point, I think I am going to start weaning myself off of this medication. I was very reluctant in the beginning for trying it, but now that I have given it an honest effort and do not see any benefit, I think it is time to stop taking it. I will of course notify my doctor, as she did say if it wasn’t helping it would be fine to discontinue it. Let me just say, it isn’t a medication that is meant for Multiple Sclerosis, it is just supposed to help neuropathy issues. I guess it doesn’t work that way for everyone though.
Now y’all know by now, I am not one that gives into anything. I am a very positive person and I want to be able to live my life to the fullest. I want to do everything a person that doesn’t live with a chronic illness can do. I do not and will not let Multiple Sclerosis define me as a person or take control of how I live my life. No matter how hard we try, we all go through times where we feel a little negative. Today, with how much pain I have been going through has been that day for me to be negative. I know there is no use crying about the pain as it truthfully doesn’t help, but my goodness we all have our breaking point. I just really want some relief from the constant pain. Tomorrow is a new day and it is Friday, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Making it through a day in pain is extremely difficult and definitely can change a person perspectives. So with me crying to my husband about hurting so much and asking him if this was going to be my life, well that was just a bad moment.
I am truly blessed to have an amazing husband that really understands me and is always so incredibly supportive. He has told me numerous times that no matter what, he will always be there for me and do anything within his power to help me. He is always there to encourage me and to remind me that the pain will end, it just takes time. He tells me all the time that I am strong, and will succeed in getting through the hard times. It is crazy, he can actually tell how bad I am feeling just by talking to me on the phone. We work in the same building, so when he stops by to say “Hi” to me, he always knows how I am feeling before I have the chance to say anything at all. He will even tell me I need to go home and rest when he sees how much pain I am in.
Thank y’all for reading my rant about pain! I appreciate all of your continued support and fantastic comments you leave! I always respond to every comment as soon as I can. I hope you have a great Friday! No matter what you are going through in life, you have the choice to how hard you are willing to fight! I know all of you have so much strength as you have shared it with me!